Recently, my oldest daughter (she’s 18 now) and I were talking about watches, jewelry, and things we’ve always wanted. I’ve been wanting things longer than her, so showed her the watch of my childhood dreams. Just a plain basic stainless steel Rolex Submariner (only about $6000.00 now), that made her ask, “Why do you want that one?”

So I shared with her the story of how I watched Sean Connery as James Bond as a twelve year old… Sean Connery always had a Rolex – the watch of spies, intrigue, and a man who could take care of himself. Because of all that, I liked that Rolex… as well as cars, gadgets, and well, just about everything James Bond! Also, Sean Connery is the best James Bond, closely followed by Daniel Craig. (and yes – the Omega watches are nice too, and I’ll get one after the Rolex maybe one day.)

So later SB (my daughter’s initials and what I call her somtime) began to search the web and found a watch that she liked, which of course has a pink face. In joking with her, I twittered twice about it (my twitter tag is @jchrisvaughn). My twitter posts automatically post to my facebook page (www.facebook.com/jchrisvaughn), caused may comments, and here they are:

TWITTER #1: I am such a good parent: my 18 y/o daughter who isn’t working wants a $4600 watch… The beatings will begin!

To make this straight, she hasn’t worked because I haven’t let her yet other than babysitting. She’s been in school and that is our first priority. She will start working next week I believe, and is working on college. It was for humor’s sake about her not working. This brought out a number posts and comments….

TWITTER #2: On second thought, the beatings won’t begin! I’ll help make my daughter’s dreams come true… Even if its a $4600 watch!

This second tweet, brought out even more comments, people wanting to be my children, as well as criticism, and is the purpose of this writing. To some of the commenters, you truly get what’s important!

I really thought the the majority of these comments could be from friends mocking more of me (in love of course), but the reason I posted the second tweet, is to make sure that everyone got the bigger picture. So for the sake of the exercise read the comments below, you may learn more that you paid for this article… class is in session…

Help my daughter’s dreams come true: Why wouldn’t I want to make her dreams come true? They are of value to her, and since she is of the highest value to me – those dreams become my dreams! Isn’t this how God deals with us. Scripture plainly says, “He gives us all things that pertain to life and godliness”; “Seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added unto you”; “What things soever you desire, when ye pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them”; and of course “Delight yourself in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart!” I’ve been told all my life by people that “God didn’t mean that now when it comes to stuff like that…”, well then He shouldn’t have said it!

But back to the point: As a parent (which is one of the greatest joys of my life!), it is my duty to guide, lead, direct, my children. When their dreams neither hurt another, and is something they desire, as a good Father, I will help make that dream come to pass. I didn’t say in the post that I was going out to buy her one (but if I had the resources I would! more on that later…) I will require her to do her part, but I’ll still do mine… I will help her!

They are her dreams: Not real sure why people get hung up on this… people, if it isn’t your dream, why do you care?

Dreams are special to each individual for whatever specific reason. They aren’t out for public debate and vote, although most want to pull you and your dreams down to their level. Dreams can pull the jealousy out of people, “why should you want that?”, “do you think you are better than us” or “there are so many hungry people”… If we all follow that basic thought, we should as Americans completely turn to Communism so that all people have all things in common. That was tried in Russia, and it didn’t work, because every person created has the innate ability to dream, desire, and want what one wants; not what is given to them.

Small dreamers, never want you to want “more than you should”, because it puts the spotlight on them, for not achieving more than they could have. Jealousy is a terrible thing, usually highlighted by what people pursue and what people settle for.

At eighteen, she’s at the point in life where she is having to make her dreams, and begin to work to make them come true! Hopefully she chooses her dreams that she believes God has given her… and not someone else, and not even mine as her earthly father!

Always consider value… not cost!: Several of the posts on Facebook, all brought out the issue of cost, as in it cost to much. One brought out the ideal of value… which many people don’t realize. Those two words are somewhat similar, but have nothing to do with each other.

The cost of raising a child is far outweighed by the value that they bring to my life!

The cost of pursuing a dream, is outweighed by the value it can bring to my life!

The cost of Christ dying for us, was outweighed by the value that Jesus placed upon us!

Many people are short termers… cost is the only thing that matters, always looking for the bargain, and many times getting exactly what they paid for. Long term people always consider the value that something brings more than the cost. Cost is a one time investment, but value is a life time treasure.

Case in point: 16 years ago, my wife begged me (she had sold Rolexes before and knew their value) to buy the watch of my dreams, which I could have gotten for $1680 at a Rolex Event Show (I’ve never forgotten – and at the time that amount to me would have been like $10,000…). I walked away because I couldn’t see past the cost. She kept saying, “look at it as an investment, not the price/cost” (did I say she had sold Rolexes before… she’s good!). I couldn’t look past it, and walked out of the store. I can still go to the place, where I realized that I just turned down buying my dream watch for more than half the current market price (it should have been around $3600, but because it was late, he had made quota, the sale would have been a bonus, etc., and possibly too, the Italian look of me was intimidating…) He offered me a deal, and I walked away. I’ve told that story to several friends who understand value, and they all say the same, “Chris you missed it.” Thankfully I learned a lesson though. Value is a lifetime issue; cost is a one time issue!

Champion your children: A parent should always be the greatest cheerleader that a child has! Help, support, and encourage them at every turn! Some parents can’t stand to help their child chase after their dreams when it seems life has dealt them a harsh blow. Even more reason to push, prod, shout, and scream, “YOU CAN DO IT!” Sadly many Christian forget Philippians 4:13, (Amplified) ” I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].”

While parenting requires being honest about ability, resources, timing, and choices, never end a conversation about your child’s dreams with you can’t, don’t try, you won’t… Children’s hearts are too precious and need to be nurtured to believe and dream! Help them to not settle for whatever is put on their plate.

By the way in finishing this exercise… I do have the greatest kids on earth! Just thought I’d point that out, in case you’ve never met them. SB, has never given me one issue in life (neither has my other two)! She loves God, honors her parents, loves missions, and genuinely cares about others! To re-quote the scripture earlier, she has delighted in being my daughter, I will delight in helping her dreams come true.

Why shouldn’t I help my daughter achieve her dreams. I finish this with tears in my eyes,and honestly, I don’t know if she really dreams about that watch, but I do know that she is in the center of all the dreams that are for me and my life. Because of her place in my heart, I will always have a place for her dreams in my heart!

A watch is a small dream (and only the illustration here today) when compared to the tender heart of young lady, or the excited dreams of a little boy.

In case your dreams are beaten down… go find a picture of a Rolex, or whatever moves your heart! Be young again, and quit settling for less than you desire! I’m rooting for you!

Class dismissed… now dream!